How To Reconnect With An Old Friend You Haven't Talked To In A While
Has an old friend of yours been floating into your mind lately? If so, you're probably feeling tempted to reconnect with them in one way or another. Platonic friendships are excellent because they allow human beings to connect on a deeper level without any hint of romance involved. While familial bonds between blood-related family members will always be special, friendships are remarkable in their own way because you've chosen to grow close to someone without sharing any DNA with them.
It's not uncommon for friendships to eventually fade or for people to grow apart as time passes by. When going through life transitions, platonic bonds that used to be at the top of your priority list don't always maintain their status. But at the end of the day, it's never too late to reconnect with friends who you once cared about. If reuniting with an old friend has been playing on your mind, here are ways to reach out to reconnect and lighten your emotional load.
Send a handwritten letter
As old-fashioned as a handwritten letter sounds, there's something authentic and heartfelt about reaching out to someone in such a poetic manner. Grab a clean sheet of paper, a pen, and start writing down exactly what you need to say from the heart. It's smarter to send a handwritten letter that's been drawn up in pen since the ink will dry and stay in place through the mailing process. If you write your letter in pencil, there's a possibility your words will get smudged.
The impact of sending a handwritten letter is unmatched because it's something your friend will cherish and hold onto for many years to come if they choose to. A handwritten letter can be tucked back into its envelope and stored in a box or shelf for safekeeping. It'll be up to your friend if they want to send a handwritten letter back or reach out to you in a more modern way.
Send them a thoughtful text message
The simplest way to reconnect with an old friend is by sending a thoughtful text message. This is a great approach if you're not comfortable with the idea of putting forth too much effort. Not a lot of vulnerability goes into sending a text message since all that's required is your phone screen and a good data connection. It will break into the realm of vulnerability, though, if you open up about your emotions in the text you send. How deep you choose to go is ultimately up to you.
One thing you definitely want to avoid is sending a text with only one or two words in it. It shouldn't simply say, "Hey." If it's been a while since you and your friend have spoken, sending a single-word message probably isn't going to win you any brownie points or help with the process of reconnection. Draft a message you'd be pleased to receive if you were on the other end. Read it over for clarity once or twice before pressing the send button.
Dial them up for an old-fashioned phone call
A phone call is a bit more serious than a text message since you're actually speaking to the person you care about out loud. With a text message, you can send a blurb of words and wait several hours before they get back to you with a response. On a phone call, the conversation is meant to flow back and forth instantaneously. Hopping on a phone call might not sound like the most comfortable thing to do in your situation, but it might be exactly what needs to happen in order to revive your relationship with your long-lost friend.
Hearing each other's voices out loud may prompt a quicker connection than reading each other's messages on a phone screen in silence. You can take this idea a step further by calling them on FaceTime so the two of you can actually see each other's faces. Before dialing a phone call or FaceTime, consider sending a text message to ask if they're available to talk out loud first.
Mail them a gift basket or present
Sending a gift basket or a physical present to an old friend of yours is a thoughtful way to show them you still care about them. This is a great buffer idea for people who aren't super comfortable with the idea of reaching out in a letter, text message, or phone call. Sending a gift basket or present shows your old pal you care enough to send them something thoughtful because you're open to the idea of rekindling your friendship. There are loads of gift basket companies to look into that offer personalized baskets filled with miniature wine bottles, nail polish, candles, lipgloss tubes, jewelry, cleansing face masks, silk eye masks for sleep, and more.
It's easy enough to pick and choose gift basket items to add before having it shipped to your friend's address. If you'd rather opt for a simple gift that you know your friend would appreciate, shop for them from any online store or boutique to make it happen. When your friend receives the basket or present you've sent them, they'll likely reach out to you to say, "Thank you." From there, work on ensuring that the door remains open regarding your friendship.
Shoot them a DM on social media
Social media is a great avenue to rely on when you're looking to reconnect with an old friend. This route comes in handy when you no longer have their current address or current phone number. Without their current phone number, there's no way for you to send a text message or dial them up for a phone call. Without their current address, there's no way you can send a handwritten letter or gift basket. Relying on social media to keep you connected to people you adore is fairly common.
If your old friend is already on your friend list, send them a sweet DM to find out what's going on in their life. If they aren't already on your friend list, do your best to find them by searching their first and last name. If you struggle to find their profile, try to discover them through the ones of some of your mutual friends. You can also search for their name along with their company, college, or city.
Send them a link to a song you enjoyed together
Music can be incredibly healing. If you and your friend used to jam out to songs by Selena Gomez whenever you were hanging out together at home, sending over one or two of those YouTube links may jog some of those happy memories. When it comes to reconnecting over your favorite songs, you don't always have to send lengthy paragraphs over with the YouTube links. The music will often speak for itself.
What did you and your friend listen to whenever you were driving in the car together to hit the beach? What did the two of you turn on every time you were doing your hair to get ready for a night out on the town? What kind of music did you listen to when you would go to lounges, nightclubs, or bars together? Rack your brain to remember the most sentimental moments you shared with your friend and recall the songs that were always playing in the background.
Plan a group hangout with mutual friends
You and your old friend might not be close to each other anymore, but that doesn't mean you didn't use to spend loads of time in each other's presence. There's a chance the two of you have some mutual friends that will be able to help you out on this journey. Buddies you have in common who are still in both of your lives can act as soft buffers during the reconnection process.
If you don't want to directly ask your old friend to meet you at a local event in your area, invite some of your mutual friends who will make sure the person you care about will also show up. This way, you'll be able to run into your old pal without feeling like either of you put any pressure on things. There's no harm in arranging one-on-one plans with your friend, but enlisting help from a shared group of buddies is perfectly normal if you don't feel you're ready for that next step yet.
Post and tag them in a sweet throwback picture
Sharing a throwback picture will help conjure up some of those nostalgic emotions and memories. Sift through all your photos and find your favorite pics with your old friend. Take some time to narrow down your options and settle on one that genuinely highlights how blissful your friendship once was. Make sure both you and your buddy look presentable and happy in the photo before moving forward. This idea won't get you very far if you look like a stunning model while your friend looks completely caught off guard in the photo.
Once you've decided on an epic throwback picture to post, upload it and tag your companion's account to make sure they see it. Take this a step further by adding a heartfelt caption about how much the relationship means to you and how much you miss having this person in your life. Posting a throwback picture on social media is a public proclamation of how you're feeling, which means it's a good-natured gesture.
Gift them a scrapbook filled with your best shared memories
You might not be ready to post throwback pictures on social media for the entire world to see. If that's the case, you can still rely on photos from the past in the form of a physical scrapbook. A personal scrapbook is a sincere way to rehash old memories with your friend if you'd rather not publicly post any images on social media at this juncture. Gifting your old pal a scrapbook proves that you set aside time and used your creativity to make something totally amazing in an attempt to reconnect.
Scrapbooks aren't typically thrown together in an hour or two. They tend to take time since you have to be methodical in your approach as you're designing each page, trimming edges, gluing photos, and adding decorative trim. This idea only works if you have access to your old companion's current address or you know where they'll be so you can hand it to them directly.
Start with an apology if there was some sort of fallout
No one wants to feel like they're the villain in anyone's story. By that same token, if you know the reason for distance from your friend has to do with a mistake you made, it's your job to apologize. Keep in mind that whatever error you might've made doesn't mean your friendship is ruined forever. Human beings are flawed and there's no way we can live completely perfect lives without any slip-ups. If that were the case, we'd all be far more robotic and boring than anything else.
If your friend cares about you as much as you do about them, odds are, they'll be open-minded to receiving an apology from you. If they do choose to hear you out, be patient with them as they take their time to forgive you and move forward. On the contrary, if your buddy was the one who made a mistake against you, open the doors of communication by letting them know you're comfortable with forgiving them so the relationship can rekindle.
Invite them to an activity you already know appeals to them
You know your old friend's favorite hobbies and interests. When you invite them somewhere you know they'll love, you won't have to do very much convincing. One idea would be surprising them with concert tickets to a performer they are absolutely obsessed with. How can they possibly turn you down? Another idea would be inviting them to attend a cooking class with you if you know their dream in life is to become a world-renowned chef.
Find classes in your local area that the two of you can do together and set a reservation if needed. It's easier to get the ball rolling in rekindling your friendship if the plans you're arranging are things your old friend won't be able to resist. While the two of you are out enjoying whatever activity you've settled on, there will be plenty of time to reconnect and talk about the future of your friendship.
Acknowledge the gap in communication
It's best not to pretend the gap in communication between you and your old friend never happened. Acknowledge it for what it is so you can both move forward without the elephant in the room. When reconnecting with a friend you haven't spoken to in a while, both of you have to realize there had to have been a legitimate reason for the gap in communication.
It's way too awkward to pretend the lapse in time never occurred since plenty of things have likely changed in both of your lives since the last time you spoke to each other. Instead of trying to jump the gun and act like everything is hunky-dory without any effort at all, discussing the real reason for your pause in communication is a smart first step to take. Even if it only happened because one of you got busy with work or school obligations, it's necessary to talk about it.
Tell them why you miss having them in your life
It's time to get honest with your old friend if you're truly serious about reconnecting with them. Express yourself by telling them exactly why you miss having them in your life. What was it about your friend that made you feel more content in your day-to-day experience? Words of affirmation are far more powerful than you might guess. Hearing lists of things people love and appreciate about you can change the trajectory of your entire day.
Words of affirmation can boost your mood, lift your confidence, and help you forget about any negative energy that might be surrounding you. With that in mind, being the person who provides words of affirmation to your old friend will work wonders for you in the process of reconnecting with them. After all, there's obviously a reason you miss having them in your life! Whatever your reasons are, make them abundantly clear. Your old companion will likely be grateful to hear all your positive opinions about them.
Be patient with their process
Your old friend might not be overly excited by the prospect of jumping back into a friendship with you overnight. This doesn't mean the relationship is doomed forever, though. It's okay if the healing process takes some time. There's a reason the two of you have some distance between you at this point. Whether it was a dramatic fight or one of you simply got too busy with work, creating a close-knit bond with each other is something that's going to require some energy and effort.
Between now and the last time you two talked, many things have probably changed for both of you. You have a lot of catching up to do and many updates to share. Since you might not exactly know where your old friend stands with everything they've got going on right now, don't pressure them into speeding the reconnection process along. Be patient and remember that good things take time. If your friendship is truly meant to thrive and stand the test of time, it's okay if it takes a while to fully rekindle. By the time the two of you are on the same page again, you'll be able to move forward in creating new memories and doing your best to avoid any more future gaps in communication.